In My Life

This. I do one every year. I think.

1. What did you do this year that you've never done before?
Travelled across the country. I flew to North Carolina then drove back to Idaho.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I even made one last year. The only appropriate resolution I can come up with for now is to simply survive this year. Maybe I will revisit this subject another time, but...

3. Any new births this year?
I have a new cousin.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Mike's older brother Randy. He was killed by an IED in Iraq. I didn't have the chance to become really close to him, but I admired him a lot.

5. What countries did you visit this year?
None.

6. What would you like to have in the next year that you lacked this year?
A push in the right direction.

7. What date from this year will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September. My first attempted suicide. Ryker saved me. It was the day we became true friends.
October. Ryker and I fell in love.
Christmas. I was raped.
December 26th. My second attempted suicide. Ryker saved me again.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Auditioning into madrigal choir. I didn't think I'd make it.

9. What was your biggest failure of the year?
Not being able to participate in the one-act festival last spring.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Several. I was in the ER last spring from an allergic reaction to a shot. I was majorly sick three different times, each time lasted for about a month. I was in the ER last Saturday to be examined after what happened on Christmas and my attempted suicide. I think I have suffered from mental illnesses this whole year.

11. What was the best thing you bought this year?
My laptop, Lappy II. I would be lost without it.

12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mr. Moll, Colin, Ryker, Mother, and...

13. Where did most of your money go this year?
Gas and class fees.

14. What did you get really, really, really excited about this year?
Talking to a special old friend of mine, meeting a special new one.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
-Happier or sadder? Sadder.
-Richer or poorer? About the same.
-Thinner or fatter? Thinner.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Gone outside.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Procrastinated.

20. How did you spend the holidays?
With my family and friends at first...I expect to spend the rest of it in a mental facility in Pocatello.

21. Did you fall in love this year?
Stayed in love, fell in love with another person.

22. How many one-night stands did you have this year?
Well, I guess it could be considered a one-night stand..

23. What was your favorite TV program for the year?
I never watch TV consistently, but I watched Scrubs whenever it was on.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I can't say I hate him for what he did.
I still hate my uncle Jan, though. That never changed.

25. What was the best book you read this year?
Watchmen. Death Note. The Looking-Glass Wars.

26. What was your favorite film of the year?
MOULIN ROUGE. It's an older movie, I know, but I didn't see it until this year.

27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year?
It's personal. I don't want to be anyone but me.

28. Whom did you miss this year?
My old friend who moved away and told me to stop talking to her. Can't say I really blame her.

29. Who was the best new person you met this year?
Ryker. I love that kid. He's my best friend. He's helped me through so much without complaining or hesitation. Whenever I'm sad he invites me over and plays video games with me until I feel better. He's a smart ass and a trouble maker but he's a genuinely caring individual. When I had an eye infection and couldn't see he kept me from walking into stuff and cooked for me. He saved my life twice now. I'm nothing but totally indebted to him.

30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned for this year.
I can't say I'm too impressed by what life has thrown at me this year. I feel as if I am growing into a world that is ten times darker and difficult than what I first thought when I was thirteen. What I've learned is that a true friend is someone who is willing to stand by you, stand up for you, and carry you when you can't stand yourself.

I have been playing Pokemon Stadium with my good friend Ryker for the last little while. Oh, the fun we have! We're going to try and get ours hands on Pokemon Stadium 2. A store at least 30 minutes from here is rumored to have a copy...

We are such nerds.

I'm waiting for all my medicine to kick in. I'm on four different prescriptions now: antidepressants, birth control, rozerem and hydrocodine. The last two are for sleep and pain. I have had severe back pain that has progressively gotten work over the last three days. I have missed school as a result of it. Grrr. I wanted to donate blood today. I also missed out on Christmas caroling. Tomorrow is going to suck catching up on all my homework; if I feel well enough to go, that is.

I know there's more I have to say, but my back is still aching and I need to lay down. I expect to update more now that the drama in my life has slowed a bit.

To state the obvious, I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy with school and finals and a play and moar sickness and social life and stuff. Yeah, everybody uses that excuse. It's not like I don't have a life or anything.

Where do I begin?

I'm vice president of drama club again. I'm pretty sure my election as president was sabotaged by a certain teacher's pet. She's graduated and she still can't seem to butt out of things pertaining to stuff that doesn't really pertain to her. If that makes sense. Fuck the drama of drama club. Sarah, Mark, Kassy and I will totally rock this thing and bring our club up to some glorious thing of awesomeness that I have been dying for since I was a freshman. Kind of tired of being at the bottom of the pyramid. I say it's time for a new world order. In high school. Yeah.


So... Willie and I were together for a while. Then we broke up. Well, he broke up with me but whatever. I'm a bit bummed by it now. If he doesn't love me, he doesn't love me... since when do you have to love someone to date them? In spite of everything I have been told, I still feel like I'm just not good enough. Huh. I know better, but I can't help than to feel this way. I suppose, like everything else, it will pass and I will be back to my regular self. Eventually.

I've failed Honors American Literature, Trigonometry, and Algebra II B. I've been shot in the face with a staple gun, broke a couple of hearts, fell in love, had my own heart broken, and got lost trying to find a place to park in Salt Lake City.  I respect that some people are Catholic; I wish said people would respect that I am agnostic. William had to sit on me to keep me from ripping my hair out and sometimes I have nightmares while I am awake. Alyssa, William and I ran away from his mother in San Diego because we were pretty much sick of her bullshit. She says we are naughty, naughty children that will be disciplined by Jesus when we die. New commandment, bitch: Thou shall not judge. I am agnostic for a reason: the different churches I have gone to over the course of my life fill me with yucky feelings, but I still like to believe in a higher power/after life. Kthnx. William might live with me before he gets sent off to boot camp. It's his choice, but... the Navy? Really? K, I will still be here for ya if that's really what you want.

So pretty much things have been a bit moar dramatic than what I would like them to be.

Words of wisdom from /b/:

-How do you know when you love someone?

-When it's over.

My butt really hurts today and I don't know why.

I have a lot of stuff I need to do, but I feel extremely lazy. Maybe my butt wouldn't hurt if I didn't sit around so much.

I'm ticked because the weather turned really crappy after a few days of really nice weather. I hope it goes back to being nice by tomorrow so I can still have a bonfire.

I feel very lonely today, but I don't feel like doing or saying anything. I think I just want some company, but... meh. Like, I don't want to be boring if there was somebody over here. I'm not very interesting or talkative today. But even if one of my friends came over to take a nap on my couch in the other room, I'd feel a lot better than I do right now. In fact, that's really all I need is for somebody to be here.

I normally never feel this way, either. I've had a couple of my friends over here the last two days. We just sat around and watched movies all weekend. Now that they're gone, though, I kind of miss them. It's really quiet here now. I never thought I'd be this dependent of having friends around. I know I could just call anyone of my friends and start shooting the breeze with them, but talking just wouldn't do anything for me. I don't know. This is a weird feeling.

I think I'll go cuddle with my cat and play video games. Yeah.

Which Death Note Character Are You? Light Yagami People see you as serious, stern, and intelligent. You want to win at everything. You hope to cleanse the world of all evil and eventually rule the new world as it's God! You are justice!

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

...Yeah. Finished reading the series and I luffed it. My friends say I'm a lot like Light, too... It's because I, too, want to rid the world of all the yucky, bad, stupid people that piss me off. Or it's my hair. Lawlz~

ALYSSA I LUFF YOU TOO MY BFF. <3 <3<3 We should definitely go to California together. =D I know how to get to Oceanside. It's really nice there, and I know you would LOVE IT.

I've been feeling nauseated today. My temperature is below normal. I haven't been puking or anything, though. And I missed school. So that's always a plus. =)

Human phys and Algebra are the only "hard" classes I have this trimester anyway. It's not like I'm missing out on too much.

Finals are in two weeks, but whatever. They can kiss my ass. =) This gives me time to get an audition piece ready for Monday, plus I can work on my monologue. If I actually feel like it and don't procrastinate. (Which I probably will.) Oh well!

So currently I have been one of the four make-up artists for The Sound of Music being performed at my school....



 

( I want to break a nun's leg. )

I never liked this play/movie to begin with. After listening to it for 4 nights in a row, I ABSOLUTELY hate it.

4 more performances to go..





 

Hallo, this be my first official post. I had another livejournal account, luna_yorokobii, but I decided to delete it after going an entire year without touching it. So, now I'm starting over on a new account, and HOPEFULLY keep this one more up-to-date. In light of recent events, I decided I needed one of these. Just to keep my thoughts in order, y'know? Right, yeah...

So, to anyone who happens to stumple upon this little corner of joy, feel free to comment or add me or give me free food. I like free food.